Perla Meissner Part IV: To Israel

Perla's dream was to return to Israel. Werner indeed kept his promise and in the wake of the Salvadoran Civil War, the Meissners emigrated to Haifa.

(....) indicates my questions.

It wasn’t that I could finally leave. Werner was retired. We thought that we had enough money to live comfortable but carefully, with the money, in the apartment we had. Some of the things were already sent, the refrigerator, all kinds of things, the basic things we had. And then I knew that he was going to get some money, a pension. I knew that I am coming home. For me, the fact that I knew the language and I’m not coming as a stranger. Werner had his brother here and I had my sister here with her family, and we had our girls here. Many friends, not too many, but friends. It was time to go, time to leave. I couldn’t send the kids, say, “OK, you live there and we stay here.” That would have been really something, trying to teach them. Sometimes I feel uncomfortable that we make decisions for our children and they have the consequences. Not easy, the changes that we make.

The adaptation was much, much easier than I feared. Werner went to an ulpan and he did homework. It was so funny to see that he really did homework, and I collected his homework. I insisted that anything that has to do with bureaucracy and offices, he’s a newcomer, he doesn’t have to know Hebrew and I’m not going to do those things. I do things that belong to the house. And he managed. I stopped driving because I wanted him to be the driver, giving him as many responsibilities as possible. And then the girls came home. The good friends lived here, Inge lived here. It was—I was in Israel but it was a little Salvador.

Life in Israel was surrounded by family: sisters, brothers, children, granchildren. Perhaps it was this safe environment that eventually led to Perla talk more about the war.

I didn’t talk to my children about the war, and they knew. You know what’s funny? I don’t know if it’s funny. Nobody ever thought that I went through the concentration camp. That was very—I don’t know, I didn’t give the impression of somebody who went through a concentration camp. I don’t know why. It doesn’t make sense. But I came home once, and I came into the house and I think Judith didn’t notice this I was coming into the house. And all of a sudden I see her hiding a book. I pretended not to have seen it. I said, “Judithka, you’re hiding a book, and you know you don’t have to hide books. You read any book you want to.” She said, “Mami, but I don’t want you to read that book.” And that was a book about concentration camps. I didn’t tell her, and she knew. Most of the people didn’t know. But I started to talk when we were in Israel. Judith was education officer for the army. It was Yom Hashoah, and she said to me, “Mami, the person who was supposed to come and talk to my group couldn’t come. I need somebody, and it’s time for you to start speaking. It’s time, Mami.”

And I couldn’t let her down. I remember that both girls were sitting in the first row, and I didn’t look at them. The moment I finished, I forgot what I was saying. Because I never read. I prepare something and what comes out—I saw that they were crying. Ronit didn’t say a word, and Judith said, “Mami, muchas gracias. You were really good.” "You see that you can," she said. You see that you can.

Somebody told me about the seminar in Yad Vashem, preparing people how to talk, explain things. I decided that if Judith said, “you see that you can,” maybe I should. So I went. I didn’t sign up completely, but they had my name and my address and phone number. I had phone calls before Yom Hashoah. Most of the time I talked to soldiers. That was OK with me. I still do. It’s still a terrible thing for me, but I don’t know, I’m telling the children things without making it easy, but I don’t know, they’re not shocked. I think they are interested. Things change very much. They think I was kind of a hero, having lived through a concentration camp must be something very special. So they have a different outlook. It’s not like, “Poor thing.” They listen, and then they listen to the tape.

Ronen [Perla's grandson] went to Auschwitz, and when he came home he said, “Oma, I don’t know why, but I was not too impressed.” He wanted me to know. I said, “You don’t have to be impressed, you have to be knowledgeable.” When Yonathan [another grandson] came home it was a different story. He wanted to know in Auschwitz which was my block. And then he went to his mother and he said, “I want to light a candle and I want to say kaddish. It has to be for block 13 in Auschwitz.” He went all through this thing. It was traumatic for him.


(Do you worry about your grandchildren in the Israeli army?)


I think you have seen that Ronen and Yonathan have not questioned the fact that they have to join the army and they should give three years. They are citizens of the state and they know exactly how important it is. I think Ilan [grandson] will go, too, because he will have no choice. (laughs)

When he was younger, he said, “I’m not going to go to the army. I’m not going to give a lot of blood.”

I felt so sorry for him. He was a little boy when he realized by seeing TV, even if they didn’t show what it means.

“I’m not going to be a soldier and lose a lot of blood.”

I’m afraid he’s going to be a soldier, and I can’t promise him there won’t be a lot of blood."

At the end of our interview, I asked Perla to recount a story she had told me the day before. It was such a moving, simple story yet I could not seem to get the corresponding images out of my head.

You see, there are many very, very special moments in the life of a person. And if you have this deep relationship as a mother to a child, and you see your child becoming a mother, and when you see this woman taking to motherhood in the most natural way, she was so relaxed as if she would have been preconditioned to that. She was much more than I ever was. To see how instinctively she knows what to do, how to take care of her child, how she enjoys every minute, this deep, deep satisfaction—it was a kind of revelation that she is a full person. It’s exactly what is important, what is not so important. She will be working, but she will be the same time at home. I saw Ronitka with the same ease, the same natural thing, and I was very, very grateful. They once asked me if they have children so that I could become a grandma? I said, “You won’t have children for me. The children you’ll have because you want them, not for me.” But when Ronen was born—“I mentioned once to Judith very, very carefully that I’m sorry I didn’t have a boy because I would have named him after my father, whom I respected and loved. It’s possible that if I had a son I would have named him Avram after my father.” Judith didn’t answer. The bris, the guests invited, and then Judith was outside because she couldn’t watch them hurting her baby. I was inside and I was listening: “Shmo b’Israel ve Ronen Avram .” I started to cry and laugh. I still would cry and laugh. I was so grateful. I was so—and you know, I don’t go to say kaddish ___ would have given everything because here is some continuation of my father. I tell many stories. I talk to my grandchildren about their grandparents, especially about my father. So here is somebody who knows that he--is named after someone very, very good. I said, “That’s exactly how your grandfather would do it....that's why you are called Avram.” So that’s the story you wanted to hear?

Perla lives today in Haifa with her husband Werner. Her daughters, sons-in-law, and grandchildren live in Jerusalem and her sister Ruchi is a short car ride away....

Transcription by Sandy Adler, Adler Enterprises LLC