Inge Bernhard: Some Final Thoughts

Towards the end of each interview, I like to ask more open-ended questions. Inge responds very positively and below, gives the reader an idea as to how her Jewish identity has evolved.

(Your Jewish identity has changed, from your life in Germany to your experiences in the States, to life in Salvador, now to a life in Israel? Have you always felt Jewish?)

(chuckles) Well, this is a long—went a long way. In Germany, since my parents did everything to hide my identity, which was very bad, I went into a situation without knowing why. I didn’t know anything about my grandparents. My grandfather had died already who had a big library which was burned later, so I couldn’t even inherit that library. I didn’t know anything about Judaism. My father, who knew, who could have told me, I never discussed it with my father. My mother didn’t want to know anything about Judaism. She thought it would be better to be a Christian and not being attacked for being Jewish. She had bad experiences as being Jewish. In the university, a professor didn’t let her take her Doctor’s degree because he would not do this for Jews. He would not accept a Jewish student for a Doctor’s degree.

Then she went to another university where the professor was Jewish. She was lucky. And there she met my father. My father loved this professor, this Jewish professor, but they never told me anything about Judaism. I saw the Nazi children going around with uniforms and instruments and I was very fascinated with that as a child. Then I was not accepted in the Jewish youth movement. So I was completely confused about this.

(The German youth, the Nazi youth?)

In Germany, yes. I wasn’t accepted for that. So very slowly, I became proud of being Jewish, having my own life. But it reflected somehow on my whole existence. I became an outsider. I liked to be by myself. I didn’t mind going on trips by myself. Also later, I didn’t make friends easily because I always was a little careful who do I meet. Maybe they are people who don’t like Jews or so. That was the only thing about Judaism.

Now, when we got married, Carlos said, “You don’t have to, to become Jewish. You are Jewish already by nature.” But we went to a rabbi in New York who gave me Jewish books to study. He said, “If you want to marry religiously, you can come back in two years and study Judaism.” And I started to study, and I was fascinated. I just had no idea what I had missed until that time. I read a lot, and I knew this is what I loved. Because the Christian—I was born as a Christian, so to speak. I also did my Christian—

(First communion? Confirmation?)

No, it’s called something else. Um, not—this is what the Catholics do.

(Catechism classes?)

Konfirmazion. It’s confirmation. It’s Konfirmazion.

And I did that, but I felt very, um, es war mir peinlich. I don’t know. I couldn’t believe in something like this. It was very difficult for me to do it, but everybody did it. I had a friend, that actually became my later boyfriend. He said, “I have left the church. I’m not a believer. You can do that.” I couldn’t. So I did what everybody did. I had my confirmation. But I felt very—

Ruth: Strange. Awkward.

—awkward about it. And when I read about Judaism, I thought this was so much more to my taste, to my thinking, my philosophy of life. So I was very, very happy about it. I went to the synagogue only on—I mean, we didn’t go each Shabbat. But I liked it, and I liked especially the singing, having lived with music anyway. When Alex Granat became the rabbi, then I was really happy. I just read a letter that I wrote to my mother. I wrote her every week. I wrote how much enjoyed—how much more I understand Judaism when I hear Alex singing.

So I got into that also. This was a completely new life for me. And that also helped the integration in El Salvador into the community. Because it was very strange for me, all of a sudden, to be with Jews of several countries, not only of Germany. And Perla, who came from the Czech Republic, Gerda who came from Romania... had a completely, completely different upbringing, and we became the closest friends. It’s just unbelievable when I think about it.

(And you think Judaism had a lot to do with that?)

Judaism, yes, I think it had something to do with it. Of course, also we have a lot of common interests in a way, but we had such a different upbringing.

(What about now in Israel? Now you’re in the land quote-unquote of the Jewish people.)

This is now—now, of course, this is a very, very broad, um, a broad—how do you say? The country is big and I feel as if I own part of it. When we came in ’54, when we came for the first time, I liked the smell of the country. There are certain smells that I cannot forget. They are not existing today any more. But at that time already I had this feeling. This is a country where I feel good, where I would like to belong.

When we came, it was still a pretty simple life. There was—I think there were two restaurants in Jerusalem, can you imagine that? There were two furniture shops. Otherwise you had to do everything with a private carpenter. Two furniture shops. Today I suppose you have a thousand, five hundred, I don’t know how many. I liked the simple life at that time. I made friends.

Many of them Germans, from Germany. (coughs)

(Well, let’s just talk about that. So tell me a little bit about how you feel now that you’re a Israeli citizen.)

As I told you before, I really feel very much at home here. I wouldn’t like to live somewhere else. I was thinking sometimes, how would it be if I would go now to Germany and live there? Impossible. I can visit my friends. I love Berlin. I love to go there. But I would not like to live there at all. My mother had some bad experience in the old age home where she was. She found a friend that tried to convince her that the Holocaust had never happened. Things like this can happen to you there. I have other friends there in Berlin, and the old place where I would like to stay, maybe, is Berlin. If I come to other places in Germany, these are nice tourist attractions for me, but that’s all. I would not be able to live there. So I was thinking, where would I like to live to the end of my life? In Israel. It is so—from the beginning I felt good, and I still do. We have wonderful doctors. I’m very lucky. We have this beautiful flat. My friends live close by. Two live right in the next house. My homeopathic doctor lives five minutes away by walking. My Hebrew teacher who taught me for many years, she also lives five minutes away. The theater is close. I’m very, very lucky. I love the city. It’s a small city, but it has everything of a major capital.

This is just—I have to tell myself sometimes how lucky I am. I forget, because I live here. I take it for granted. But I’m very happy to live here. I only hope that we will go on living peacefully and that all the political problems will be somehow solved. That’s all I can hope for.

Transcription by Sandy Adler, Adler Enterprises LLC
Ruth Reich de Alpert also participated in this interview.