A First Trip to Israel

Susie remembers her wedding in 1969 and the first years of her marriage.
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(So you go back your spring semester of your sophomore year and you continue seeing him?)

Yes.

(John. When did he propose?)

John proposed in October of—let’s see, we got married August of ’69, so he proposed October of ’68.

(And did he ever say to you, “I need you to convert, it would be easier if you converted?”)

No, he never said. We talked about it, that there would be consequences.—I had seen what had happened with me, because I was always confused of who I was. Was I half this? Was I half that? And then in my mind, it was that there’s only one God. The religions, all the other religions, are just a means to get to that same God. It’s what people feel comfortable with, in praying to this one God. And so as long as you always respect other people and their values and their religions, then everything is all right. Plus the fact that Jesus was Jewish and the Catholic religion or any Christian religion is based on the Old Testament. Without the Old Testament you can’t get to the New Testament. So I figured that I already knew so much of it, I had taken religion at SMU, both the Old Testament and the New Testament. There was a saying at SMU that if you want to become unreligious, you only have to take those courses. But that wasn’t really true—you just study everything in such depth. But it helped me understand that all religions are good.

(So when you were married, you were married—well, before that, I assume you saw your family once you were engaged?)

Yes. John and I flew to New Orleans. My father felt comfortable coming to New Orleans and meeting us there. He knew that John was coming to ask for my hand, and I knew it was not going to be an easy thing, knowing my dad and how he felt about him.. And so John went and asked for my hand. It was a very difficult time. It was extremely difficult. My father didn’t see it our way, and my mother had to support what my father was saying. He gave us a blessing of sorts, but he did not agree with the marriage and he said, “If you do go ahead and get married, then we won’t see you again.” Which was very difficult. He said, “On your wedding day, there will be nobody.” And so it happened.

Well, John’s mom had passed away when he was only fifteen. His father was not able to come from Israel. Backtracking, John had come on a scholarship when he was sixteen years old to the States, and he had not been back. He had not seen his father for seven years until he graduated in 1967. One year before his graduation, John had started working with Braniff Airways, or Braniff International as an aeronautical engineer. He was able to bring his dad over for his graduation in 1967, and that was the first time he saw his dad in seven years. When he left Israel, John wasn’t even shaving. So when his father saw him as an accomplished man, it was quite a beautiful moment. John wanted to go back to Israel after not being there for so many years.

So in 1969, when we got married, we agreed that we would go to Israel as part of our honeymoon. So that’s why his father didn’t come. But all his three sisters made it, and the children, the ones that already had children. And the one person present on my side of the family, was my Uncle Martin. My Uncle Martin, who is my father’s brother, and who’s still living in Dallas, he was there. He was always telling my dad, “Don’t be that way.” Because my Uncle Martin also married a Catholic, a German Catholic, and she converted to Judaism. So in his family there was—you know, my mother. So I thought, “Goodness gracious, all this happened, so why can’t I?” And at one time, my father had asked John if he would convert to Judaism. But that was almost an impossible thing. John was the only son. He only had sisters. And their last name means “priest,” because his grandfather was the Greek Orthodox priest of the village where they grew up. So it was an impossibility. It was just totally impossible for him to become Jewish. And I said, “I don’t mind. I really don’t mind.”

(When you went to Israel together, how were you received? Did they know you were raised as a Jew?)

Yes. His father could not have been nicer. I met his father in 1967, and John already introduced me as his girlfriend. I met him, and he was so sweet. He was the nicest man, really, and so accepting. I mean, this is his only son, and so it was a lot to him, but he was just—I mean, I don’t have words to explain how nice he was. His sisters were very loving. They’re a very close-knit family. What else did you ask?

(Just about Israel.)

Oh. So when we went to Israel, nobody ever touched the subject of religion or anything like that. I was very well received everywhere we went. Naturally, we got to meet the whole family that was still there, and his friends from school and everybody. And Isaw another side of Israel, because when they were growing up in Haifa, their neighbors next door were Jewish, , Greek Orthodox, Catholic, Anglicans, etc. Nobody seemed to mind the religion issue!

(How did you feel in Israel? Had you been raised to think about Israel?)

I don’t remember my father talking about it that much—all I remember was that he contributed in different ways...adopting a child in Israel, where you send money to help that child. But that was the extent. Also, the planting of trees in Israel. But he never mentioned us moving to Israel .

(So it was more like just a visit when you went?)

It was a visit. We went to a lot of places. We went to Jerusalem, which I loved. I thought it was really beautiful. Later on, we made trips with our two children showing them both their ancestral, cultural and religious roots My kids thought that one of the neatest things that they had in their lives, that makes them so special, is that they had a Palestinian Greek Orthodox grandfather and a Jewish grandfather. They had the best of both worlds and of both religions.

(So once you had your children, I’m assuming that your parents finally met them? )

Not till Michael was nine months old. So that was four years after the wedding. Michael was born, and I was awfully sick when he was born. I had pre-eclampsia. Then I had all these surgeries after that. I had a pulmonary embolism, and surgeries to prevent further complications. So it was touch and go for quite a while. Unfortunately, I was not able to see my parents. Then when Michael was nine months old, my father was up in New York with my mom having I think his second eye cataract surgery. In those days they didn’t do laser, they would cut out the cataracts.. So he was not supposed to lift anything or do anything like that. But he did, and so he had a hemorrhage. So my mother, not knowing what to do without the language, she decided to call me. And she said, “We’re in New York. This happened to your dad, and I need help.”

So I said, “Fine.” And I was on the next flight out from Dallas to New York, with Michael, who was nine months old, who they had never seen. And so I stayed, oh, maybe about ten days there with them, going to the doctor’s and helping in whatever way I could. So that was the beginning. That was the first step of a long journey.

Transcript by Sandy Adler, Adler Enterprises LLC.