The lakes...the volcanos....

In this installment, Andree remembers her Jewish life both in El Salvador and then in the United States.
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(Did you decide to join a synagogue here?)

No, we would go to high holiday services. We didn’t decide to join a synagogue at that time. It’s strange. I still felt that a Bat Mitzvah was not necessary for the girls, and they didn’t seem to feel strongly about it either. So they had a Jewish education and learned to read Hebrew. A rabbi came to our house and instructed them along with two other children. Later on, Lorena and Beatriz said,“Why didn’t we have Bat Mitzvahs?” But you know, at that time I didn’t think it was important, and they didn’t seem to indicate that wish either, although their friends were becoming Bat Mitzvah. But then for the boys, I mean, it’s not a sexist thing—although it is—but there was no question that they were going to become Bar Mitzvah. That had been part of the culture in which I grew up.

(Was Juan Alberto able to be here for that?)

Yes, yes. We had joined a Reform Temple a few years before their Bar Mitzvah. Eduardo and Enrique read their Torah and Haftorah portions. They studied the meaning of these and looked at how these readings related to their lives at that point. Juan Alberto was also given participation in the ceremony.

(How did you feel living here? Was that a huge adjustment for you?)

It was a tremendous adjustment, because in El Salvador I had very close friends. Here it was a totally different way of life. I made some very good friends, especially a friend that still lives across the street and has a child the same age as Beatriz. But it was just so different, because in El Salvador, we used to visit each other very frequently and spontaneously. Just the distance in itself made this harder here. The other thing is, Juan Alberto’s connections were very much with the Paraguayans, and at that point I didn’t feel that comfortable with them.

(Despite the Latin connection? That group didn’t help you feel closer to Salvador?)

I felt it was very different, they were very different, and I was an outsider. I was an outsider as a Salvadoran, as a Jew—

(Did you feel any anti-Semitism?)

No, but I have felt very much the difference. You know, one instance, for example, my brother-in-law and his wife are musicians, internationally known musicians. They have records and have traveled all over the world.

(What kind of music do they play?)

Paraguayan folk and international, but mostly Paraguayan. We were at a restaurant in New York when they were playing, and my sister-in-law says, in front of the whole restaurant, “Now we’re going to play music for my dear sister-in-law: Havah Nagila—” (laughs) You know? (laughs) I mean, my Jewishness is at the top of their thinking.

(That’s what made you different?)

yes, yes. And in Paraguay, there were some—I was at a dinner party where there were some “entertainers,” saying some not-very-nice-to-Jewish-people jokes.

(Did they know that you were Jewish?)

I don’t think so. And I wondered, should I make a big issue about this, or should I just, you know, not laugh? (laughs) And I didn’t think it was appropriate at that time for me to make a big fuss. I think many years later, with more maturity I probably would have made an issue of this. I have taken on a role of making people aware of anti-Semitic (and other) biases.

(Did you see your parents when you were living here? Did you see them often or not so much?)

When we came here we went every winter holiday to El Salvador. The first few years we spent the whole summer there.

(Before the war?)

Oh, yes. I just couldn’t wait for the kids to be out of school and go for the summer. Then Juan Alberto would come for a while. When my parents traveled, they would stop by on their way.

(After the upheaval in Paraguay, did it ever occur to you to go to Salvador at that point? To go to Paraguay? You just thought you would stay here?)

No. We ended up separating. So at that time I wasn’t going anywhere else.

(Did you feel like that was home?)

(pause) I don’t know where I feel from. I feel Salvadoran.

(How often do you go back?)

Not often. Not often. El Salvador is in my heart. (laughs)

(And when you’re there, what do you feel?)

I just love it. I love the people, they're so friendly and warm. I love the land—I see those volcanoes, those lakes, it just really makes me feel great.

(What do you feel about the Jewish community there? Is that a big part of Salvador for you? Is that peripheral?)

It is a big—it was a big part. I’ve been out of it for more than thirty years, you know? It’s more than thirty years that I’m here, so— (sighs) (pause) When I go, I go to services and I love seeing people there. But it’s not my place any more because I’ve just been out for so long. While there are many people that I know, there are also many I don’t know.

(When people ask you, “Where are you from?”—?)

El Salvador.

(Do they often seem surprised?)

Depends. Oh, yes, mostly they do, yes. Salvadorans, for example, the people who look mestizos would say, “But you don’t look Salvadoran. You can’t be.” Americans, too. Americans also have the stereotype of the mestizo looking Salvadoran.

(How do you react to that? Do you go into explaining how—?)

With people that look mestizos, I don't bother. I'll say, “Oh, I don’t? Oh.” (laughs) With other people, or with Americans, I say, “My parents were not Salvadoran. My parents were French. I’m first-generation.”

(Do you feel that the Salvadorans consider you Salvadoran, your friends, people that you grew up with, María Elena Rodríguez, those people?)

(laughs)

(The sort of typical Salvadorans, do you think they think of you as Salvadoran?)

That’s interesting. When I was—in the early years of our marriage, we had some very, very good Salvadoran friends, and I sometimes said, “I feel that I don’t belong.” He said, “Why?” I said, “I just don’t feel that you consider me Salvadoran. I feel that my Jewishness makes me different.” “But it doesn’t, he would reply.” And this was a very good Salvadoran friend. But I felt that it did make a difference. I don’t know what it is, but this group, when we had gatherings they would sometimes use inappropriate language. Someone would invariably say, “Oh, excuse me, Andrée." I wondered why they would excuse themselves to me, when there were many other people present. So you know—how are you not going to feel different that way? I don’t know, was I younger, better bred? (laughs) I don’t know what. I didn’t use bad language. But it pointed out my difference.

(Something was there.)

Yes.

(You said something a ways back about how you ate very European food at home and your mother still doesn’t recognize some of the native dishes. Where did you learn about these native dishes?)

When I came back to El Salvador and when I lived more among Salvadorans.

(So it took you—you had to get married and have your own life before you were living…….)

Before I started living…..really a Salvadoran life.

Transcription by Sandy Adler, Adler Enterprises LLC.