The Salvadoran Sabra

In this second excerpt, Paul Feldman remembers his first months as a solider and his first encounters with anti-semitism. Most importantly, he reveals his first impressions of his future wife Ruth Baum---the woman who would introduce him to El Salvador.
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(So tell me about the army. When were you drafted?)

I was drafted during the Berlin crisis of 1961. I thought they’d help me make my first trip to Europe. It didn’t happen, because I was sent to Texas. Instead of meeting the Europeans, I met my wife. Which was a better deal. (laughs)

(How was the army? How was the experience?)

Uh, you know, I dreaded the army. I dreaded it because I don’t like all the vaccinations. I didn’t like the idea of losing control of what I was going to do and when. But I decided to make it a positive experience and try and get something out of it rather than just be complainer. So I turned it into a positive, and I learned a lot in the army. A lot of my free time was spent in the post dark room developing the photos I would take during the day. That was where my involvement in photography and film production began.
I became a soldier, and I was thrown amongst people from all walks of life and all educational levels. Some people had never worn shoes before coming in the army, which is almost impossible to think of in today’s world. But they were wearing their first pairs of shoes. Some had never been to the dentist. Many would come back from a call to the dentist with nine teeth having been being pulled out because their teeth had been so rotted.

So I really learned to appreciate all kinds of people for themselves, because I was living with them and I was seeing that they were from all walks of life with all levels of education and preparation, but most of them were decent folks. I got to really enjoy people for themselves.

(How did people react to you?)

There were some sergeants who loved to fool around with me and pick on me because I had a college background. They’d always say, “Oh, here comes the college boy!” But for the most part, with the other soldiers and everybody, I got along just fine. It was a broadening experience for me, and I learned that I could do certain physical things that I had never even thought of doing, and I could hold my own. Things I had never even thought of trying, and I thought, “Well, I can do this if I try,” and I did it.

(Were there other Jews in your company?)

There were about two other Jews in my particular company. They didn’t go to services. Pardon me, there were three, because there was one that I didn’t know was Jewish who revealed himself to me in a very private way after about a year after having been together in the same company. Shall I tell you about the experience with him?

He stopped me one day. We had never spoken. He was a fellow I knew that was from Hungary. Never thought of religion concerning him. He stopped me and said, “Feldman, do you mind if I ask you where you go on Friday nights? You go some place every Friday.” I said, “Well, I go to chapel every Friday night. I’m Jewish.” And he said, “If I tell you something, will you keep it to yourself? I just feel like I want to tell you.” And I said, “Well, sure.” And he said, “I’m Jewish. But we have suffered so much because we’re Jewish, my mother and I, that I never tell anybody.” And he told me about his life as a student in Hungary, first under the Nazis and then under the Russians, and it was not pleasant being Jewish. So, they suffered a lot, and they decided to not identify Jews any more.

They fled Hungary during the 1961 student uprising. He was involved in the student demonstrations, the anti-Russian demonstrations of 1961, and he had to escape or he would have been arrested. He and his mother escaped and they somehow found their way to the States. And as soon as he got to the States, he was drafted. We found ourselves in the same company. I tried to convince him that, “You’re living in the States now. You don’t have to worry about being Jewish. Why don’t you join me at chapel? I’ll take you with me.” I could never, never get him to feel comfortable enough to go to services. But he used to seek me out just to be with me. And I never told anybody his secret, until now.

(And what about anti-Semitism in the army?)

I didn’t feel that people were down on me because I was Jewish, but people who didn’t understand what being Jewish was would come to me occasionally. I had a sergeant who I had never spoken to before, but he stopped me in the company area one day and he asked me would I tell him what our secret is. And I didn’t know what he was talking about. So I asked him, “What secret are you talking about?” And he said, “Well, how do you guys make money?” And I thought a second, and I said, “Well, the reason we have money sometimes and some other people don’t is because some of us try to spend less than what we earn and we try to save some. But I don’t think that’s a trait that all Jewish people have. But if people do have more money than others, it’s because they try and spend less.” And he thought that was quite a concept. Never thought of it. (laughs)

I did have one guy that bothered me in the company area. Again, I didn’t him. We weren’t friends, I had nothing to do with him. He discovered that I was Jewish and he would yell across the company area every time we’d pass each other, “Hi, Feldman, the Jew.” That bothered me but I decided to ignore it. I expected and hoped that it would pass, but it went on for months, every time I saw him. And it was maybe two or three times a week that we’d pass each other. He’d say to me, “Hi, Feldman, the Jew” or “There goes Feldman the Jew.” I kept ignoring it and ignoring it, till one day, to my surprise, I snapped. I was walking with some friends and he yelled it again across the company area, “Hi, Feldman, the Jew.” And I just ran up to him and I pushed him up against the barracks wall and I grabbed him by the shirt here, and I told him, “I didn’t hear what you said. Would you please repeat it to me, and when you do it’ll be the last time that you say any words between those teeth?” And he said to me, “Gee, I didn’t know it bothered you.” And I said, “It bothers me.” And he apologized and just walked off, like every bully does. He was much bigger than me and could have easily beaten me under normal circumstances. But my strength at that moment and the fact that I even did it, surprised me because I’m not a physical person. I was really surprised. And he never bothered me again.

(Great story. Tell me how you met your wife.)

I was in Dallas a few weeks before the High Holidays and I saw that there was a B’nai Brith Southwest chapter dinner. And wanting to be around Jewish people, so I walked into the Hilton Hotel and there was the sign announcing the dinner. I walked up to the receiving desk. I had my uniform on that day and asked, “Do you have anybody from Dallas here? I’d like to meet them.” They asked me what I was doing there and I told them. They made me feel at home and sat me down at the table of the Dallas representatives. And in that group was a young couple who asked me what I was doing for the High Holidays, a few weeks away. They insisted that I be their house guest and bring a friend to spend the holidays with them and their family. And I said I couldn’t impose and tried to politely refuse, but they insisted. So I was their house guest, along with a friend.

The very first night of Rosh Hashanah, I saw this young fellow walking in with two attractive young ladies, Esther Miller and Ruth Baum. That night Ruth and I said hello and never said goodbye. This couple, the Radoffs, were very nice. They knew Ruth and I were interested in each other, and invited Ruth to join ther family for lunch at their home.

(And what did you think of this girl? I mean, she really came from a different background.)

I saw her olive colored skin to me she was a sabra. I thought that was terribly exciting, because I was always very pro-Israel, and I thought, “God, a sabra!”

(So Ruth looked like a sabra.)

Yes. And I resisted the temptation to ask her what part of Israel El Salvador was in. I never asked her that. (laughs)

(But when she said she was from El Salvador, what did you think?)

I thought, quickly, where on earth is El Salvador? I thought of San Salvador. I honestly had not heard of the country before.

Transcript by Sandy Adler, Adler Enterprises LLC.