Boris Gabay on Conversion

In this excerpt Boris shares experiences related to his early conversion to Catholicism and subsequent re-connection with the Jewish faith. All questions in parentheses are mine.
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(Was that very hard for you, to look at your sister, and she’s one religion and you are another?)

No, not at all. But at the age of eleven, I did get some pressure to convert, not from my sister, but from friends. Most of my friends in Colonia Flor Blanca, where I still lived until the age of seventeen, were catholic. I was a Cub Scout, and my best friend at the time was a Swiss Catholic. His influence moved me to convert to Catholicism.

I felt pressure with the fact that they all went to Mass on Sundays, and I decided to convert to Catholicism, at the age of eleven. Of course, how much you know of what you’re doing at that age? But I did, with a priest of the Cub Scouts at the Liceo Salvadoreño. And I went through all the rituals, learned a few things to be able to do this, and then I was somewhat oriented towards the Catholic religion for a few years, until the age of seventeen, which was, like, six years. When I went to college—I came to college in the States—I identified more with the Jewish American kids, this was the University of Colorado in Boulder, and I actually joined a Jewish fraternity. From then on, I started once again leaning more towards my original religion, and of course I would have needed to convert to be considered completely Jewish. I always had a little bit of a problem with that, because, you know, this whole thing about, if you don’t have a Jewish mother you’re not Jewish. Which I—I mean, I had to agree with it, because it’s what’s agreed with, but to me it really didn’t mean anything, because to me it’s the same to have one Jewish parent, whichever it is. I mean, I had a Jewish name. I had a Hebrew name. Gabay is a Hebrew name. There are other people that have Jewish mothers and they have a Christian name. So it really made no difference.

But I started identifying more with Jewish kids. Actually, it was before college. It was in high school where my best friends at that point were the two Jewish kids in the school. We were very, very close, and we still are. But religion really never had that much impact on my way of life, it was never that important to me. Religion was somewhat secondary, in my whole life it has been. I have my own. I mean, I am a believer. I believe in G-d and I believe in basically the Commandments. I respect the baruchim, you know. Now I feel more Jewish than I’ve ever felt before, because I’ve taken courses here in Miami. We also belong to a temple. I also belong to the Jewish community in El Salvador. I pay there. I pay here. (chuckles) I’m involved in more Jewish life than I’ve ever been before. You know, we’ve gone to temple every major holiday. This past couple of years we go often Friday nights.

I was saying that religion was never that important. But it was when I took a course in understanding Judaism a couple of years ago, two, three years ago—

Second voice: Last year.

No, two years ago. I realized that my religious feelings throughout my whole life were really what Judaism is all about. And I realized that I had, without really knowing it, been a Jew in my beliefs, in every sense. And then, at that point, I have—for the last couple of years, I’ve identified myself more comfortably as a Jew, although I am aware that if I ever want to be a citizen of Israel, I think that has changed, but if I wanted to be considered by an Orthodox Jewish community, I would have to go through a mikvah and convert.

(Is that important to you?)

Converting? (pause) I’m not sure. I’m not sure if it’s important.

I think that identity—
you know, sometimes not having a definite identity takes its toll on someone’s personality. It undoubtedly has—the roots of complexes of people are very much tied to a lack of identity. I think in order to feel completely comfortable in saying I’m a Jew and that’s it, I will probably have to go through conversion. And I’ve had intentions. That’s in a way why we took that course with my wife, although she converted in the ‘80s legally, and I didn’t, ‘cause I never felt that I needed to. But now, like I said, I still don’t feel I need to, but only because I would like to be considered Jewish by everybody. And even then, I don’t think you ever will be, you know. No matter what you do, you’re always half.


Transcript by Sandy Adler, Adler Enterprises LLC